first time

Today I am write in English. This is first time I post my broken English, you know. So, please do not laught at me, o.k. firstly, I don like English because I always get low marks in my paper. I hate the person who create English language. What past tense, present tense, grammer and more. So compiccated!!! Why a? I also don know. Second, why my English paper mark r low? huh? Not too bad ma, teacher. Teacher kesian saya sikit, give more mark to me. so that my result will look better. Teacher you almost every day teach me idioms. I think my teacher want to sot jor. I work hard, work hard to put the idioms inside the essay, but my mark will not as high as cheng mun’s. why I so cham huh? It too bad no one can answer me. Why the English cannot be easy sikit? Why I must learn? And why I don know why already. please forgive me because my essay like ‘rojak’. u know, I poor in english ma.i think thie is my better essay in my life, because my teacher would not mark this paper. Wahahaha!!!

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无聊

突然好想找个人陪我去走街、喝茶、得空的话聊一聊、吹吹水。只因为我不想和“无聊”约会。后来才发现,把自己弄得很忙的,那更无聊。

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烟火。

有时会觉得在佳节里生日那该有多好?那么就可以看到美丽有灿烂的烟火。可是在当下望着那些不是为自己而放的烟火时,连自己也会变得寂寞了。至少那一刻我是这么想的。

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到底怎么了?

我在想以后是不是要买那些文学小说呢?在思考的当时,我觉得那有点悲剧。有时很难懂,要想了很久才会吸收到里面真正的含义,有时却不能。我了解了,却又觉得原来不能真正去了解那种伤感比了解好多了。

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虚伪

坐在吵杂的人群里面的我,无法感觉到人群里的热情。为什么我没办法融入这个环境里头呢?也许他们的话题我插不进去、也许我跟不上他们的节奏、又也许我的脚步已离他们好遥远。也许有太多的也许,所以我总有成千上万的猜测。不过简单来说我被冷落。其实最容易觉得孤单,孤独的时候,不是在寂静的巷口里,也不是在无人的街道,而是站在人潮汹涌的斑马路上。被人推来推去的时候,感觉上好像被排挤似的。那一分,那一秒会觉得自己更寂寞吧。

我曾在想如果不要被冷落的话,那该怎么办呢?我必须伪装自己变成一个他们肯接纳的人吗?带着面具,去迎合别人,那岂不是虚伪到一定的程度了吗?日复一日,自己也变得虚伪了。原来啊,环境是会改变一个人的。所以要做到出于泥而不染的最高境界可是非常的难。

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